Hanging In

Ellie's stutter has worsened in the last week. She is holding her breath when she can't get a word out and then the word kind of "explodes" out of her. She also has started clearing her throat when she is stuck. This seems to help her get past the hard word. She had one episode last weekend where she stuttered so hard that she started crying. I was so glad Tim was here when it happened - I had to excuse myself quickly and go sob in our bedroom. I hate seeing her struggle like that. Overall, though, she is still her happy self :)

We had a screening with the school district today. They said that Ellie's secondary behaviors (the blinking, throat clearing, breath holding) are "very concerning" to them, but they won't refer her for services because of her age. They said they have never seen those behaviors in a child so young and aren't set up to begin treatment at this age. Their recommendations are for us to seek private therapy for now and begin building a case as to why Ellie should qualify for services. We are supposed to video her, log the progression of her stuttering, and basically convince them that Ellie needs help. I left feeling very frustrated. Basically they said, "Yes your kid needs help. Yes we are concerned and you should be too. But no, we are not going to help you."

The odds are still on our side. I have put in more phone calls today. We happen to live 15 minutes from a university with a large stuttering research center, as well as 5 minutes away from a leading practitioner.

I just wish people would quit telling us that Ellie is too young to be treated. The reasoning behind what they are saying is that kids her age aren't "true" stutterers because their language is still developing. When they stop and listen to her, though, they are all speechless and can't believe she has developed so many secondary conditions at her age. They just say that they don't know what to do about it, other than for us to wait. But the research says that if we wait, we jeopardize her recovery chances.

Sorry to vent with such a negative update, but I am feeling so down about the whole thing right now. All parents want the best for their children and don't want to see them suffer. Ellie overall is still very happy, but she is very aware of what is going on and gets very frustrated. I hate watching her work so hard to say things that 3 weeks ago came out so easily.